The month of April is about new beginnings and awakening from the deadness of winter. I’m ecstatic as I head off to expose my toes to the sun and set myself free from the confines of the harsh, cold months. It’s spring, and summer will soon follow! Life is going to be blissful!
Then, I think about some of my sisters for whom the change of season may not be so bright. Perhaps, winter dealt you a horrible blow or a tragic event may have stopped at your door. Maybe you simply feel like a failure because you haven’t yet accomplished your goals in life.
Don’t lose heart, my dear – failure is just a pit stop, not the final destination!
A pit stop is a place during a race where a car stops for refueling, repairs, or a driver change to help get it back on the road ASAP. During a road trip, pit stops also are for resting and eating.
In life, a pit stop can be a time to re-define and realign your goals and get you back into the game. But it’s important to make sure you don’t confuse a pit stop with flat-out quitting before reaching your destination.
During several pit stops in my life, I discovered three keys to navigating the pit and overcoming adversity:
1. Recognize adversity for what it is . . . just a pit stop.
Adversity is not a destination; it’s just a pause in your journey to refocus or change your game plan. It’s during these pit stops that needed adjustments are made to equip, empower, and enable you to get back on the road. The pit can be a dark, lonely place, but there will be some who get in the pit with you to offer support.
Some of my pit stops were more difficult than others. I experienced the death of my parents and siblings, two failed businesses, a failed marriage, sexual molestation, and homelessness. Although at times I wanted to roll over and die, I survived. I had to decide that life was worth living and whatever I was going through, I would make it. Even if I couldn’t do it for myself, I had to do it for my children.
Can you relate to what I’m saying? Have you experienced being in the pit a few times in your life?
As a bishop’s daughter, one of the most devastating things was the divorce. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was a Christian. We were supposed to remain married forever. Although I tried to hold on to my husband and family, it wasn’t going to be. I wasn’t just in a pit – I was under it. I felt rejected, like I had failed and disappointed God in the worst way. How can any good come out of my life now, I wondered? The Bible says that “unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around” [Proverbs 13:12 MSG]. With each disappointment, I had to decide whether I wanted to wallow in sorrow or push through it.
This brings me to the second key:
2. Learn what you need to know.
The only way out of the pit is by going through it. While you’re in the pit, learn what you need to know to become more effective, powerful, and courageous. I had to recognize the part I played in the demise of my marriage. It takes two to break up a marriage – that was a bitter pill to swallow. I learned that although I took on my husband’s name and we two became one, I was created as Charlene, in the likeness of God, and He continued to have a purpose for my life.
Sometimes things get worse before they get better. Two days before my divorce, my sons and I were evicted and we ended up in a homeless shelter. As we journeyed through the divorce, we spent many days talking, crying, and asking God questions. Know that the moment you’re ready to quit is usually the moment right before the miracle happens.
The pit stop taught me to believe in myself and trust that better days were ahead. It was during those times that I learned to grow stronger in my faith and trust in God.
3. Rev up, shift gears, and move on.
Don’t die in the winter of your storms.
Now that you know it was just a pit stop, how do you move on? Don’t give up! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start over again.
Get a vision of where you want to go. You may not be able to totally plan out your life. No worries – just plan the next step. Perhaps it’s changing a job, getting out of debt, ending a marriage, or starting a new business. I had to step into that place of leadership and determine how life would be for my sons and me. I decided that my family would not be a statistic. My sons were not going to be gangbangers, high school drop-outs or teenage fathers.
Create your game plan. Look around for resources. Remember the people in the pit who were in your corner – they can help point you in the right direction. I needed plenty of help and resources. The time we spent in the homeless shelter gave us an opportunity to bond with each other, refocus, and get clear directions.
Believe that you have what it takes to overcome. Set your sights on tomorrow and see yourself as if you’ve already got the victory over your adversity – in a new job, out of debt, etc.! Pray for answers and then wait on God.
Remember, the pit stop is just a brief stop on your journey. Don’t die in the winter of your storms. Hold on – spring is coming!
originally posted April 13, 2015- http://inspirenewlife.org/lifes-pit-stops/
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